April Fools’ Day Rejects

Yes, we were planning fake news for April Fools’ Day. Unfortunately, our CTIA coverage was delayed, and we didn’t want the two to collide. Oh well. Better luck next year.

However, here’s what we had started work on. Bear in mind these were unfinished, so please do not attack the comedic value (or rather, lack thereof).

Ringerpost Partnership - Illegal Software for Everyone!

Today is a great day for PhoneNews.com. We’re partnering with Ringerpost.com to help aid in the process of pirating wireless content for everyone. We’ll be adding over the next week to our site the Top 10 Most Pirated for games and applications. We’ll also be adding random popups asking to check to see “if you’ve had your software piracy break today”.

Finally, we’ll be contributing our entire legal defense fund to ensure that when Sprint, AT&T, T-Mobile and Verizon sue Ringerpost, that they’ll meet the wrath of both of our sites. We’re with you in thick and thin Ringerpost!

Microsoft Announces DRM 5x… Five DRMs

Microsoft today announced a new mobile DRM format, 5x. 5x requires phone manufacturers to integrate PlaysForSure, Zune, and their three other new DRM formats? The result? Microsoft will compensate the carriers for each time users power on their phones… because the chances of them having to purchase a Microsoft product increases exponentially with each power on.

In related news, Microsoft ordered XDA-Developers and PhoneNews.com to pull all references to Microsoft. They are claiming the use of Microsoft’s name is a blatant violation of the licensing agreement implicitly agreed to whenever the word Microsoft is typed. No word yet on if the two site’s Genuine Browsing Advantage status will be affected by the policy change.

YouTube Acquires PhoneNews.com Video Services

Today, YouTube announced in partnership with PhoneNews.com that they have seen the light. YouTube will be transitioning all its poorly-encoded Flash FLV videos over to the same high-quality MPEG standards PhoneNews.com has embraced since launch.

Of course, no money exchanged hands, but both companies sat at the stock printing presses as they pulled an all-nighter to get the job done on that stock infusion into PhoneNews.com.

Nowheresville Gets EV-DO & HSDPA on Same Day

Media reports on small, meaningless town getting network expansion. Hey, a carrier posted a press release, so we had to, right?